The Hogar, Again

Angela & Yobisa, in May 2014

Kiara & Liliana

Last month, one of the older girls, 15yr-old Yobisa, succumbed to leukemia and died at a Lima hospital surrounded by her family. The teen girls have a good relationship with Jennifer, who is like that mischievous aunt with whom you can talk about anything, but I did not know Yobisa hardly at all. Still, it's sad, and Jennifer is particularly so. She remembers Yobisa's first day, new to the Hogar, talking to her about being scared and shy at first. Apparently the Hogar does not do memorials or anything…at least, the kids Jen asked told her that Yobisa's passing was not marked in any particular way. I think it occupies all the Hogar's focus just to keep the kids treatments going, feed them and school them. There's no obvious accommodation for their emotional lives, no official discussion of puberty or sex-ed (certainly not!), no lessons in manhood nor womanhood nor death. The kids are cared for by wonderful mamitas, caring volunteers & teachers, and the stern Doctor who has devoted his life to them. But there are certain waters the kids just seem to be navigating on their own.

But out at the home, there's no time to stop and ponder. Last month, we took the kids on a sunny excursion to the park. Liliana's dad was visiting, playing with her and some of the other kids. [Some of the kids have parents like this…obviously distraught at having to live apart from their children but doing it because it is the only real option. But most parents who visit sit uncomfortable and quiet, nervous in an unfamiliar setting, particularly around gringo volunteers. At least Liliana's dad was free of that, talking and smiling and laughing, even playing with kids not his own.] Eventually we were joined by some of the older kids, who started exhibiting their physical prowess (despite being disabled in their legs)…

Victor Sanchez

Segundo walking on his hands, Jason doing a gymnast's handstand on top of the playground slide. Even at lunch, I couldn't help but be impressed by Victor, whose only limb is his left foot, pouring out the last trickle of his chicken soup from his bowl into his spoon, not spilling a drop. Victor braided a bracelet for Jennifer with that one foot and I just got him the rainbow loom he's been wanting (ask any 10yr old…it's a bracelet making loom).

Percy

It hardly seems possible, but that visit seemed to be even deeper in biological effluent than normal. Blanca, who must be around 9 or 10 and is one of the most mentally challenged kids in the place, regularly wets herself. But this was the first time that I saw her crap herself, dropping an ugly mess through the chair onto the floor. Not sure why she's not in diapers. But her mom was visiting, so I divested myself of responsibility. I was the only one there, though, when somehow Karla got dog poop in her hair at the park. I was pointedly considering the benefits of donating from afar vs. volunteering in person, as I painstakingly wiped her hair clean. I know you are wondering, so here's the mystery solved: Ana Lucero hopped unawares with her one good foot into dog poop, got it on her flip flop, then I gave her a piggy back ride while holding Karla's hand and, voila, poop in Karla's hair.

Julia

My flip tone here is disingenuous. I am happy, proud even, of these little indignities, these badges that prove that my contribution is not illusory. Perhaps not the worst sort of vanity, but vanity nonetheless. I also can not help but be pleased watching Carter with the kids, as natural as natural can be, no vanity on his part. Even so, it can sometimes be disheartening. Julia is 14, doing an intense round of chemo despite her doctors saying she ought to just go home to die peacefully. Not only can Julia's dad not accept that, he is a single parent and can't care for her at home because missing work is not a practical option at their level of poverty. Jen has a blood match, so she is trying to donate…here if someone needs blood, it usually has to be their friends and family that provide it. Something we gringos take for granted is that there will be blood available to us if we need it.

Jennifer arranged with several of the older girls to have a photo shoot in the park. We then had them printed out for them and they accepted them, as excited as if the portraits were printed on gold leaf. Leave it to Jen to discern what teenagers really want. After posing for photos, Sheyla (a burn victim) became emotional and insisted that Jennifer trash the files. But Jennifer did not and, when handing out the prints, secretly showed them to Sheyla and gave her the option of throwing them away or keeping them. Sheyla kept them, and now we have other kids eagerly awaiting their portraits.

Flor & Linzy

Olga & Jefferson

Sheyla